Don't Tell

Why do secret societies even exist anymore?

If you really sit down and think about it, there’s really no need.  Back in the day, there was a desire to keep artisan tradesecrets, well, secret.  There was also the old political secretkeeping that kind of still goes on today, but really, is there a need for a bunch of men to gather in the basement and lock the doors to pat themselves on the back for a job that at best is only kind of done, but not very well?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll defend the right of folks to be as secretive as needed or possible.  I don’t think that anyone needs to step in and squash these meetings.  I think even the Boy Scounts have some secret traditions and rituals, one being Pipestone.  My best friend when I was younger was a Scout and wouldn’t even tell me about it.  I told him that it was ok to come out and tell me that it was just a bunch of teenage boys running around naked humping trees, but he would never fess up.  It was a “bonding” thing for the boys.  Nonsense.  It was the same as that joke that two people have between each other that no one else gets, because they “weren’t there”. 

Maybe someone’s trying to manipulate Windham’s massive political power behind closed doors?  Oooh, there’s a huge prize to be had.  Everyone knows that if you’re after power to that degree, you start a blog.  Then automatically you have perceived credibility, even when you’re talking about things you haven’t the faintest idea concerning.  Plus, folks automatically start crediting you with awesome political powwer to shift elections and turn out mind-numbed voters that can’t think for themselves.  Then of course, the power begins to go to your head and you step away for a while to get your bearings, creating various and sundry conspiracy theories as to why you’re gone, when in actuality, you were in the Betty Ford clinic because of your addiction to the Internets.  Upon your return, the drug reasserts itself and you’re thrown into another downward spiral.

But at least this time, you can enjoy it.