Sometimes late at night, things get pretty boring slinging coffee at the ’Buck. One has to find ways to fill the time, here was my solution from a few nights ago that someone liked.
But honestly, that was just too happy for me, so I added a second, more apt haiku.
That was much better.
In lieu of my own incoherent thoughts concerning the VT tragedy, here’s Jeff Harrell
It was the video games. No, wait. It was the violence on television. He snuck in to see an R-rated movie. He read a Bret Easton Ellis novel. He read two Bret Easton Ellis novels. Cover to cover. Twice.
It was the war. It was the glorification of death. It was porn. It was gay porn.
Somehow, it was the President, who let it happen. Or the opposing political party, who didn’t stop it. Or vice versa.
It was the cops, for not having enough security. It was the taxpayers, for not having enough cops.
It was the school pharmacy, for being closed on Sunday. It was the girlfriend, for cheating on her man. It was the other kid, for letting the girl cheat with him.
It was the school for allowing boys and girls to fraternize in the first place.
Oh, no. Wait. How silly of me. Of course it was the guns. Everything will be fine as soon as we get around to banning those.
Then things will be great.
One of the drawbacks of not posting regularly is that you miss wondrous days like April First. At least I got to honor Groundhog’s Day this year, right? Anyway, I’ll just post this here link:
The Museum of Hoaxes Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes of All Time
...and say that my all-time favorite is Number 4 - The Taco Liberty Bell. I remember that one from a few years ago. Priceless.
In September of 2005, a social studies schoolteacher from Arkansas did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with permission of the school superintendent, the principal, and the building supervisor, she took all of the desks out of the classroom. The kids came into first period, they walked in; there were no desks. They obviously looked around and said, "Where’s our desks?"
The teacher said, "You can’t have a desk until you tell me how you earn them."
They thought, "Well, maybe it’s our grades."
"No," she said.
"Maybe it’s our behavior."
And she told them, "No, it’s not even your behavior."
And so they came and went in the first period, still no desks in the classroom. Second period, same thing. Third period. By early afternoon television crews had gathered in the class to find out about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of the classroom. The last period of the day, the instructor gathered her class.
They were at this time sitting on the floor around the sides of the room. She said, "Throughout the day no one has really understood how you earn the desks that sit in this classroom ordinarily. Now I’m going to tell you."
She went over to the door of her classroom and opened it, and as she did 27 U.S. veterans, wearing their uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. And they placed those school desks in rows, and then they stood along the wall. By the time they had finished placing the desks, those kids for the first time I think perhaps in their lives understood how they earned those desks.
Their teacher said, "You don’t have to earn those desks. These guys did it for you. They put them out there for you, but it’s up to you to sit here responsibly, to learn, to be good students and good citizens, because they paid a price for you to have that desk, and don’t ever forget it."
As recounted by Governor Mike Huckabee of Arkansas about Martha Cothren’s military history class at Joe T. Robinson High School in Little Rock, Arkansas.
When I sit down here at my computer and think about blogging, its pretty easy to convince myself that no one reads all of this and that my clickthrough counter really is just going up because of people checking things out rather than looking for some reasonable posting or erstwhile entertainment. Then of course, I run into someone while on vacation in Pennsylvania (of all places) who mentions that they have read the blog.
This does not sit well with me for some reason.
Why? Well now I feel all of this burden of "responsibility". What is that anyway? Who came up with the concept that you have to be accountable for your actions or lack thereof? I’d like to sit down and have a long talk with them, because they’ve ruined a lot of well-intentioned actions. Because seriously, who among us wouldn’t like to rob a bank someday, but no, we have to be "responsible" and not do such things. We have to live in a respectable society so that we can breathe freely and without rampant heists breaking out in every financial institution.
C’mon, admit it, you’ve thought "I wonder if I could get away with..." then your mind trails off for a few moments thinking of how exactly you could fulfill your anti-responsible dream of anarchistic action. You would have to find a driver, craft a cleverly worded note directing the sultry blonde teller that you would like all of the money in her drawer put into one of those cool moneybags with the bank’s name on it, plus her phone number for good measure, because you never know, she may be into the who heist scene and you wouldn’t want to pass that anarchistic action up either. Then, after weeks of planning how to walk out of the building, you totally botch your escape plan by waving to the security camera with a sly smile and a wink that’s sure to make the six o’clock news. Sliding over your getaway car’s hood Dukes of Hazzard style, you jump headfirst into the open passenger window as it takes off into the waiting sunset, disregarding that sunsets happen long after most banks close. Living life on the lam might be a bit tough, bouncing between run-down motels, one step ahead of the law, creditors, and the three or four loan sharks that you’ve not paid in months.
Ah what a life. That’s what all of this responsibility talk keeps us from living. Disappointing I know, but I suppose its for the best.
