Sunday, January 29, 2006

The surest way to retire early

Sue someone. 

Its pretty much accepted that suing someone or a company that has scads of money just laying around for people to lounge around on is an acceptable way to secure one’s financial future.  Its likely that the Village of Windham has a collective insurance policy that would cover your basic wrongful termination/slander/insert I’ve-been-offended-reason here suit. 

Some would call such lawsuits frivolous, and they might be correct in asserting such.  Others may be way off base.  Others say that the litigator is just in it to make a point, or a statement, or to just drag someone else through the mud because their feelings have been hurt at some point in the past.  Old feelings do die hard.  Of course, if you have physical trauma, you’ve got a good basis for such a lawsuit that go beyond feelings.  There’s nothing like a good coffee burn in the nether regions that makes a jury writhe uncomfortably.  Let’s feel badly for them because sure, they spilled the coffee themselves because they didn’t put it in a cupholder while talking on their cellphone while sitting in the middle of the intersection.  Its not their fault that the coffee was heated to the surface of the sun’s temperature.  Big Coffee is to blame!  And not to mention the caffeine!  The government should be regulating that stuff anyway!

Can we PLEASE institute some sort of “loser pays” system?

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