Happy 4th!

Torn by David Armand (as Johan Lippowitz)

I love interpretive dance! Ok, not really, but seriously...this is good stuff.

Could it be?

Is the end near?????

Wow, I missed a whole month

Luckily nothing really happens for me to post about anymore. Sure, there’s NDS meddling in the affairs of a duly appointed government. Of course there’s that whole Cleveland sports run that we’re on. Then there’s that entire moving thing that’s moving along, though not as nicely as one would like. I’m still torn as to what to do with this blog, I’m hoping that after getting off of this midnight shift will help with the posting, but that’s not going to happen for at least another month, if not longer.

Ugh.

I haven’t even been able to play much World of Warcraft or update my myspace page. What’s the world coming to?

Haiku(s)

Sometimes late at night, things get pretty boring slinging coffee at the ’Buck. One has to find ways to fill the time, here was my solution from a few nights ago that someone liked.

• The Starbucks coffee


• Tastes so good to so many


• Serve it with a smile

But honestly, that was just too happy for me, so I added a second, more apt haiku.

• The Starbucks coffee


• Caffeine for angry drivers


• Harbinger of doom?

That was much better.

Blame

In lieu of my own incoherent thoughts concerning the VT tragedy, here’s Jeff Harrell

Everybody wants to put the blame someplace

It was the video games. No, wait. It was the violence on television. He snuck in to see an R-rated movie. He read a Bret Easton Ellis novel. He read two Bret Easton Ellis novels. Cover to cover. Twice.

It was the war. It was the glorification of death. It was porn. It was gay porn.

Somehow, it was the President, who let it happen. Or the opposing political party, who didn’t stop it. Or vice versa.

It was the cops, for not having enough security. It was the taxpayers, for not having enough cops.

It was the school pharmacy, for being closed on Sunday. It was the girlfriend, for cheating on her man. It was the other kid, for letting the girl cheat with him.

It was the school for allowing boys and girls to fraternize in the first place.

Oh, no. Wait. How silly of me. Of course it was the guns. Everything will be fine as soon as we get around to banning those.

Then things will be great.

How Did I Miss April Fools Day????

One of the drawbacks of not posting regularly is that you miss wondrous days like April First. At least I got to honor Groundhog’s Day this year, right? Anyway, I’ll just post this here link:

The Museum of Hoaxes Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes of All Time

...and say that my all-time favorite is Number 4 - The Taco Liberty Bell. I remember that one from a few years ago. Priceless.

A Lesson We All Should Learn

Desk Jockeyed

In September of 2005, a social studies schoolteacher from Arkansas did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with permission of the school superintendent, the principal, and the building supervisor, she took all of the desks out of the classroom. The kids came into first period, they walked in; there were no desks. They obviously looked around and said, "Where’s our desks?"

The teacher said, "You can’t have a desk until you tell me how you earn them."

They thought, "Well, maybe it’s our grades."

"No," she said.

"Maybe it’s our behavior."

And she told them, "No, it’s not even your behavior."

And so they came and went in the first period, still no desks in the classroom. Second period, same thing. Third period. By early afternoon television crews had gathered in the class to find out about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of the classroom. The last period of the day, the instructor gathered her class.

They were at this time sitting on the floor around the sides of the room. She said, "Throughout the day no one has really understood how you earn the desks that sit in this classroom ordinarily. Now I’m going to tell you."

She went over to the door of her classroom and opened it, and as she did 27 U.S. veterans, wearing their uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. And they placed those school desks in rows, and then they stood along the wall. By the time they had finished placing the desks, those kids for the first time I think perhaps in their lives understood how they earned those desks.

Their teacher said, "You don’t have to earn those desks. These guys did it for you. They put them out there for you, but it’s up to you to sit here responsibly, to learn, to be good students and good citizens, because they paid a price for you to have that desk, and don’t ever forget it."

As recounted by Governor Mike Huckabee of Arkansas about Martha Cothren’s military history class at Joe T. Robinson High School in Little Rock, Arkansas.

What Makes Me Feel Badly

When I sit down here at my computer and think about blogging, its pretty easy to convince myself that no one reads all of this and that my clickthrough counter really is just going up because of people checking things out rather than looking for some reasonable posting or erstwhile entertainment. Then of course, I run into someone while on vacation in Pennsylvania (of all places) who mentions that they have read the blog.

This does not sit well with me for some reason.

Why? Well now I feel all of this burden of "responsibility". What is that anyway? Who came up with the concept that you have to be accountable for your actions or lack thereof? I’d like to sit down and have a long talk with them, because they’ve ruined a lot of well-intentioned actions. Because seriously, who among us wouldn’t like to rob a bank someday, but no, we have to be "responsible" and not do such things. We have to live in a respectable society so that we can breathe freely and without rampant heists breaking out in every financial institution.

C’mon, admit it, you’ve thought "I wonder if I could get away with..." then your mind trails off for a few moments thinking of how exactly you could fulfill your anti-responsible dream of anarchistic action. You would have to find a driver, craft a cleverly worded note directing the sultry blonde teller that you would like all of the money in her drawer put into one of those cool moneybags with the bank’s name on it, plus her phone number for good measure, because you never know, she may be into the who heist scene and you wouldn’t want to pass that anarchistic action up either. Then, after weeks of planning how to walk out of the building, you totally botch your escape plan by waving to the security camera with a sly smile and a wink that’s sure to make the six o’clock news. Sliding over your getaway car’s hood Dukes of Hazzard style, you jump headfirst into the open passenger window as it takes off into the waiting sunset, disregarding that sunsets happen long after most banks close. Living life on the lam might be a bit tough, bouncing between run-down motels, one step ahead of the law, creditors, and the three or four loan sharks that you’ve not paid in months.

Ah what a life. That’s what all of this responsibility talk keeps us from living. Disappointing I know, but I suppose its for the best.

Reversal

Good Morning Kids! Its 3:45 pm and I’m just rolling out of bed. About a month and a half ago I took a job with Starbucks, evil corporate conglomerate that it is. Oh sure, they put on this aura of helping the environment and all, but lets be honest here, their coffee is expensive because they just happen to like money.

Anyway, there was a midnight position open there and a friend of mine told me to sign up. I’ve worked midnights before and it really doesn’t bother me terribly much, but it does put my whole routine out of sync with the rest of the world. That’s not good for blogging or even just keeping up with things. I should figure out how to post from my cell phone, limited service that I get there, and describe some of the freaks that come in to get coffee at 2:45 am. Actually, they usually order a tall soy mocha because they’re looking out for themselves, but then say go ahead and put whipped cream on top of it, which pretty much blows away the idea of looking out for themselves. It is pretty good stuff though. I do recommend the Hot Chocolate, or even a Cinnamon Dolce Steamer.

But I’m firm in my resolve. I’ve never actually drank Starbucks Coffee.

So you think you can type?

I thought I was pretty good with a keyboard. Sadly, I can only get about halfway through the third stage of this game. Go ahead and make me look bad.

Pepsi NEX game

On the upside, if I can get like five thousand hits on this post, maybe I can get some free Pepsi.

Legalese

Ok, can anyone speak this stuff? Here’s a Quinlan quiz that deals with high-crime areas and how they can have an effect in searching someone. It can be considered one of the factors in reasonable suspicion. If an officer sees two people pass a bag and/or money between between themselves in an area defined as a "high-crime area", there is reasonable suspicion that can lead to a legal search of the people involved.

Yeah, it can hurt the head to overthink this stuff, really, its more common sense. Its a reasonable conclusion to imply that there is something nefarious going on. Also, factor in the "good faith" implications that have been worked out in the courts, the police department here in town shouldn’t have any legal trouble following the Ordinance the Chief has proposed and Council has passed.

Foul Language

Yeah, we’ve all heard it, likely every day, but George Washington’s quote comes to mind:

The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.

Someone did a quick study of profane language being used on blogs over the last six months and the results are interesting.

The News Buckit Story

Someone Gets It

Perhaps you’ve seen the Piltz article in the Courier, if not, its online here. The new chief seems to really understand the position as being more than just pure law enforcement. In today’s world there is a second angle to the job of being a policeman that involves public image that didn’t exist previously. Just look at these two quotes:

"I think Windham really has got great potential; we just have to get out more so the people see us and know we’re taking preventative measures."

"In order to get public opinion to swing your way, you have to show them what you’re doing and what their taxes are paying for," he said. "We want to show them we’re professional, educated, competent and caring, but also that we’re going to be very proactive in law enforcement. I’ve been told that some people don’t want the police department here in the village, but that’s OK because we don’t want those people here,"

Sounds like the Mayor and Council made an excellent choice to replace retired Chief DeSalvo.

Nuke the world

I’ve never in my life wanted to kick a kid as much as I’d love to with this one. Y’know, Greenpeace is an ok organization overall I guess, trying to save the world, though I’d disagree with a lot of points of how to do so, but this really takes the proverbial cake. Single out a strange-looking kid, make him a self-righteous, confrontational, entitled, classwarring, misinformed, save-the-world snob and here’s what happens:

C’mon, admit it, you just want to pour radioactive waste into this kid’s backyard and watch him shriek like the Wicked Witch of the West in her water-fueled death throes. What a world, what a world!!!!!

Its really cold in Cleveland

Here’s a clip from the news last week during the really cold snap we had. Its made its rounds, so some of you have likely seen it.

Free pancakes!

The worst thing about being sick is that you don’t get to enjoy free stuff like this. If you read this before 10:00 pm and can get to Niles, enjoy yourself some free pancakes at IHOP.

National Pancake Day

Down With the Sickness

Ugh, what kid went to school and gave my kids this horrible sickness? Why did my kids decide to give their sickness to myself and their mother? Is this what a migraine feels like? Ugh.

A Song for A Day Like Today

I heard this song on a snowy day way back in 1993, it's my own official winter song.

Its Great to be a Gun-Toting Republican

Because we get to have touching moments like the one found at Six Meat Buffet.

I’m So Proud